Chapter Three: How to Merit and Maintain Other's Trust [ARR]

Annie's Reading Room

So let’s pretend that you have now applied the Six Ways to Make an Impression and have gotten people’s attention. Now you have to develop the relationship, and even more importantly, their trust in you.

Part Three reviews How to Merit and Maintain Others’ Trust. Once again, there are 10 strategies, but let’s focus on the first five.



How to Merit and Maintain Others' Trust

Avoid Arguments. “Humorist Dave Barry made this point quite well when he said, “I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.” Being more concerned about being right all of the time may leave you with a lot of free Friday nights. This isn’t to say you can’t engage in lively debate, but don’t “discard the notion that others have inner wisdom that ought to be heard.”

Never Say, “You’re Wrong.” To others, that is. Doing so “will only earn you enemies. Few people respond logically when they are told they are wrong; most respond emotionally and defensively because you are questioning their judgment.” Unfortunately, online communication is a ripe environment to inadvertently accuse others of ineptitude, simply by using the wrong tone or a few poorly chosen words. If misinterpretation is a danger, conduct the conversation in person.

Admit Faults Quickly and Emphatically. “Negative news spreads faster than ever. If you’ve made a mistake, it is far better that you control the news being spread. Come clean quickly and convincingly.”

Begin in a Friendly Way. It’s simple. “Winning friends begins with friendliness...talk to every individual as though you’re going to be sitting next to that person at his or her mother’s house that night for dinner.”

Access Affinity. “Like attracts like,” and in the digital age, “we can have a head start. We can ascertain affinity before we approach a person” by seeking out their preferred Facebook or LinkedIn groups or reviewing their profiles. “The more yeses you can get at the outset of an interaction, even if they have little to do with the ultimate proposal, the more likely you are to put the person in the mood to agree with you along the way.”