"Yes, but...": What if they won’t play? (Part II) [ARR]

Annie's Reading Room

(The final posting of "Getting to Yes!")

What if they use dirty tricks? or Taming the hard bargainer

When someone is being “tricky,” most people respond one of two ways: 1) put up with it and hope it appeases the other side or 2) respond in kind.

Tricky bargaining tactics are in effect one-sided proposals about negotiating procedure, about the negotiating game that the parties are going to play. To counter them, you will want to engage in principles negotiation about the negotiating process itself.

How do you negotiate about the rules of the game?

There are three steps in the rules of the negotiation game when the other side seems to be explicitly using a tricky tactic: recognize the tactic, raise the issue explicitly, and question the tactic’s legitimacy and desirability. Then, negotiate over it.

Separate the people from the problem. Don’t attack the negotiator personally for using the tactic you consider illegitimate. Question the tactic, not their personal integrity.

Focus on interests, not positions. Ask: “Are you trying to protect yourself from criticism? Is it in our mutual interest to have both of us use this tactic?”

Invent options for mutual gain.  Suggest alternative games to play.

Insist on using objective criteria. And be hard on the principle. Try out the principle of reciprocity. Frame the principle behind each tactic as a proposed “rule” for the game.

And as a last result, turn to your BATNA, and walk out.

Some common tricky tactics

Deliberate deception. This includes misrepresentation about facts, authority, or intentions.

Regarding ambiguous authority, it is suggested that before starting on any give-and-take, find out about the authority on the other side. It is perfectly legitimate to inquire, “Just how much authority do you have in this particular negotiation?” If the answer is ambiguous, you may wish to talk to someone with real authority. In addition, it is best to clarify early on that “nothing is agreed until everything is agreed” so that any effort to re-open one issue automatically opens all issues for negotiation – from both them and you.

"Yes, But..."What if they won't play?

Psychological warfare. These tactics are designed to make you feel uncomfortable, so that you will have a subconscious desire to end the negotiation as soon as possible. This could include stressful situations, which could be as simple as the temperature in the meeting place or if the room is too noisy. It is up to you to negotiate better physical circumstances in an objective and principled fashion.

In addition to manipulating the physical environment, there are also ways for the other side to use verbal and nonverbal communication to make you feel uncomfortable, or on the extreme side, engaging in personal attacks. Recognizing the tactic will help nullify its effect; brining it up explicitly will probably prevent a recurrence.

The good guy/bad guy routine. The very same from old (and new) police movies are a form of psychological manipulation. If you recognize it, you won’t be taken in.

Threats. The goal of most threats is to impart pressure. Warnings are much more legitimate than threats. “So you are not surprised, here is a draft of the press release we plan to issue if our contract is not renewed.”

Positional pressure tactics

Refusal to negotiate. What can you do when the other side refuses to negotiate all together? First recognize the tactic as a possible negotiating ploy: an attempt to use their entry into negotiation as a bargaining chip. Second, talk about their refusal to negotiate. And finally, insist on using principles.

Extreme demands. Bringing the tactic to their attention works well here. Ask for principled justification of their position until it looks ridiculous even to them.

Escalating demands. Call the tactic to their attention and perhaps take a break.

Lock-in tactics. This approach puts the negotiator in a situation that is seemingly out of their control. An example would be if a union representative made a public statement to accept no less than a 15% salary increase. She therefore seems to have her hands tied unless she wants to lose face. You can resist lock-ins on principle.

Hardhearted partner. This tactic involves assigning “blame” to a hardhearted, often non-present partner. Rather than discussing it with the other negotiator, you may want to get his agreement to the principle – perhaps in writing – and then if possible speak directly with the “hardhearted partner.”

A calculated delay. Nearing a deadline, the other side hopes to put pressure on you to give in. Look for objective conditions, and create a fading opportunity (i.e. begin negotiations with a third party who is interested in your property).

Take it or leave it. Consider ignoring this phrase at first and keep talking as if you didn’t hear it.

And, that wraps it up! This overview was pretty in depth, so I don’t think you would actually need to read the entire book to understand the general principles. However, if you were to find yourself going into a negotiation, I think having a copy of this book nearby would be an excellent insurance policy.

My next post will be the first one of our new book, Lead With a Story by Paul Smith.